And we (basically) had free reign in the house, with respect of course. But it was really cool, so beautiful and amazing! Shortly after Bethany and I got there they started the evening session. The session was based in Colossians 1, and was on prayer. After about 30 or so minutes of the session, we were handed a half sheet of paper with a few questions on it. We were told to go throughout the house and find a quite place by ourselves for twenty minutes. For the first five minutes we were to pray, then five minutes answering the first question (Describe God, What are God's attributes), then five minutes on writing "What is my personal prayer?" (based on our session that night), and finally, five minutes on the third question, "What is your prayer for the group?". The top of the sheet read, "After reflecting on Colossians 1, create a heart-felt, honest PRAYER to become your semester/year/life prayer:"I actually didn't make it this far, in fact I didn't do what I was suppose to do, entirely.
During that time I went up to a solidarity place knowing that God was present there, and just spent time with God. I knew that God was speaking to me and working in me through the session and now in the time of prayer. I spent quite a bit more than five minutes in prayer, just talking and pouring my heart out to God. It was really releasing. Then I started with the first "question" on the page, "List out attributes of God:" Describe God, who is He, both in bible words and in my own words. This is where I spent most of my time during this alone time. I thought to myself, "okay, who is God to me?" So I started to jot down words that described that, "Dad, Father, love, provider, comforter, forgiver, perfecter of unconditional love, joy, cares, takes care, gives, heals brokenness, picks up, leads/leader, listener..." then I also started thinking of who He is, what He does, Him. "...Inventor, artist, creative, beautiful, big smile, compassionate, never fails, never leaves, comes to me, walks with me, patient: He waits for me, perfect correcter, alive, strong,courageous, bold, mighty, has authority, creator, matchless, beyond imaginable, relentless, marvelous,..." I tried to only jot down words or phrases that described Him to me. Meaning words or phrases that He may be, but I haven't experienced Him to be that yet or I don't get that yet, I didn't write down those words. "...Builder, finisher, carpenter, responds in love, taker, generous, kind, peaceful, trust, restorer, His laughter brings joy, King, Lord, counselor, talker, unchanging, perfect, revealer, joyful, God, loves me more than anyone else loves me, Good, wonderful, wisdom, guide, hope, life, comedian, lifts up, everywhere, Awesome, overcomer, mysterious,..." By now the 20 minutes I started with will well past, but I didn't care. I needed God more than whatever else was going on, so I stayed there with Him in His presence, alone. I felt like I really needed this time, needed to hear what He was saying, needed to write out what I saw, what I see Him as. Especially with all the struggles I've been going through and how down I've been feeling, I felt that I really needed to dig deep inside and express who I really know God to be. "...Potter, gracious, observant, stirs, full, engaging, perfect timing, not limited, perfect, undoubting, saving, well, almighty, supports, speaks, hears, stretches, 3-persons, trinity, judge, loving, unchanging, Jesus, Holy Spirit, light, trainer, responsible, reliable, seeks, humble,..." I was near if not in tears through this. I thought back to what I had experienced God to be, primarily over the last three years. "...Papa, refreshing, in me, glowing, radiant, secures, the foundation of life, the corner stone, friendly, blesses, gives gives and gives, rewarder holy holy holy, was and is and is to come, supreme, magnificent, seeks and finds, caller, washes me, righteous, true, fruitful, united threesome, greater, stronger, higher, starter, being, servant, celebrates, rejoices, comes, here,..." Through this all I was also reminding myself and trying to think of how I would describe God to someone. If someone out of the blue walked up to me and asked me who God was, what would I say? What words would I use to describe Him? What experiences declare who He is? "...mindful, peace, honourable, heart-toucher, commander, willing, spirit, abundant, encourager, worker, plentiful, cleaner, glorified, author, writer, collector, fearless, protector, adopter, everlasting, Holy, hugger (gives the best hugs), transforms finite, restores, abides, embraces, gardener, planter, Shepherd, diligent, blessed, trustworthy, honest, honouring, cool, brilliant, beaming, merciful, faithful, strategic, all seeing, all knowing, all powerful, worthwhile, purposeful intentional, intimate, there, friend, open, thoughtful, fills and overflows, produces, chooses, delights."
I know that I could of gone on, but I did stop there. By then my paper was pretty much full, and I hadn't gotten to the next two parts yet. I then spent some time in prayer, then moved to the personal prayer. However I didn't do what I was really suppose to do here. Yes I did write a personal prayer, but it wasn't the one that would become my semester/year/life prayer. I simply just wrote out my talk to God. I poured out to Him in writing where I was. It filled the rest of the front of that page and much of the back too. I opened up and spoke things that I felt that I hadn't really mentioned before. I felt complete freedom to be fully open and release everything.
I was up there for well over an hour, yet it seemed like five minutes to me. When I came down everyone had gathered in the foyer for worship singing. Many of the songs were hard to follow and some I didn't. Most if not all of the students there have grown up in the AC church and with these songs (not all the songs), so it seemed easy for them to sing by heart. Though not knowing them I found them hard to follow and understand, especially since most of them they didn't announce what song they were going to do (and in general why would you. If everyone knows the songs they will join in when the hear the words or even the tune of the first line). But for me, when I could pick up what a line or two was, I would google it on my phone in hopes that the song would come up so I could find the lyrics. Some I was able to find lyrics for, others I couldn't - I found that some hymns have less appropriate secular songs named after them on Google.
After singing, we cleaned up the house and those who stayed after played a group game. Jesse and I stayed till the end of the evening. We turned off most of the lights, and played Sardines, and Live Mafia. Both were a ton of fun, especially in the house we were in, and in the dark. In the end I was really glad that I went and found it quite beneficial personally.
Thank you God for blessing me so much, I couldn't experience all this without you!
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