Northern Travel Worship God Experience

The Powerful trip to, during, and from Canada

Last, last Thursday (March 21, 2019) I left where I am living in Gridley, IL to drive up to Kitchener, Ontario, Canada for a Worship Conference this past weekend.  I had a fairly quick drive, without any trouble at the border - praise God!  I was struck by how quick the trip went.  It was about a 9-10 hour drive, but it flew by in the snap of a finger it seemed.   Going into this trip, I did not have the finances for this trip, but I was trusting God to provide.

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*I've been struggling financially lately and even more than that I have been struggling with, as much as I don't like to say it, an addiction to shopping.   This is something that has been a struggle for years and I am still learning to walk it out wisely.   While I was in Canada there were some things that I wanted to get, but I felt like I wasn't suppose to get them - that I was to trust God.  However, in my temptation, I slipped up and got them anyways.   Looking back, I recall talking with God prior to this shopping trip and I felt like He told me woe to me because I will not obey to His warning.  At the time I had dismissed that, believing that I would heed to His word if He told me not to purchase anything.   Yet I did purchase them, and I do believe that God had warned me not to.   Now it is something that I am having to deal with - going into it I knew that it would be painful, and now, being this much more in debt, is indeed painful.   But, my prayer and hope in this pain and experience is that God will help me overcome this addiction (which I have been able to do for short periods of time in the past, several months at a time).  But I pray, and am working towards, a lifestyle change, for this is not something that I want to keep living with. 

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Once I arrived in Canada, I went to the Baxter's house (relatives) and stayed with them Thursday night.   Friday, after a morning shopping trip, I helped Laura unload some drywall into the room they are renovating and then I headed into town to meet a friend.   My friend and I hung out for an hour or two and it was really good to see him in person and spend this time with him.   Then, around 6:10 PM, I headed to the church (Koinonia Christian Fellowship (KCF)) for the first evening of the conference: Engage Worship Conference.  This was the first year that KCF has done a worship conference.   On the way, I pulled off to a quiet area and took some quiet time with God.   At the end of that time, I felt that He asked me what His word says.  So I stated stating verses that came to mind that I have remembered.  The one that He stopped me on was when He said that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  I felt like He wanted me to remember, if not focus, on that as I went into the conference.   This was a great preparation for the night that followed.   Leading up to this night, I have felt it on my heart that God was going to do something big at this conference, and so I wanted to prepare for it.  One of the best ways I knew how was to fast and pray.   I took a nine day fast ending on the final session at the Friday night worship session at the conference.  (Why nine days?  I wanted to do two weeks, but I was concerned by my health - I was sick at the start of the two weeks).  But it was well worth it.  God prepared my heart and, WOW! It was an amazing conference with Awesome times of worship, and praise, to and of God!   The guest speaker at the conference was Sion Alford, the campus worship pastor at Gateway Church in Dallas, Texas - the church that I've gone to conferences to in the past - including in SLI.  He was amazing and God really spoke through him.  

Going into the first session Friday night was an extended time of worship, of which was powerful and humbling - which was encouraging.  During that time of worship one of the songs was literally filled with lyrics emphasizing how God will never leave me nor forsake me!    Wow!  That was such an encouragement - especially since that is what He had prepared me with just before coming to church that evening!  And all throughout the weekend, this was a very common and repeated thing that I felt God bringing up more and more to me!  During the worship that night God clearly moved.  I felt free to cry, to find Great Abundant Joy in His presence and goodness, and I felt Him near - all more than usual.   

Friday night after the conference there was tons of really good food - which probably seemed even better since I was coming off of a fast.  But it was filled with some great times of fellowship too!   Then I headed to the Friday night group that I was a part of when I was in SLI.  There were not many people left when I got there - it was fairly late, around 11:00 PM - ish.   But it was still good to be with the family and friends that were there.  Then, I spent the night there.   

Saturday morning the conference started at 9:00 AM.  Main sessions were on praise, worship, humility, God's will in the fulfillment of His promise(s) to me, and so much more.  In the talks on God's will for me in the fulfillment of His promise(s), I really felt God confirm and affirm me where I am at in life - that He has placed me in studying early childhood education for a reason.   (This is something that I have been struggling with lately - I enjoy working with kids and I am good at it, but I struggle to find joy and peace in the thought of doing it for the rest of my life - or even for a longer term in life.  But I really felt God affirm me as His child and that His will may not always be what I think it should (or does) look like.  Something that someone said this weekend at the conference was to 'Grow where you're planting' and to 'Grow where you're planted.'  And I know that God has planted me here in Illinois at Heartland Community College right now in the Early Childhood Education (ECE) program and I have not been in the greatest mood or perspective about that - I certainly haven't been trying to grow all that much in it - I have been more trying to 'just get by' and pass the classes.  But God says that I am to do all things as if I am doing them for Him, to grow where He has placed me.  

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Here is a journal entry that I wrote at the end of final session on Saturday evening:

Throughout the weekend I've felt the reoccurring theme that God has placed me with children, studying ECE, and that is where He wants me (to give it my all).  So I said I would follow if that was Him, but I also asked for additional confirmation from Him.  I don't remember if he said He would or not.

 Now, during the final session, as it was ending, we were going into a ministry time (with praise and worship).  Nearly right after they said we can come up [front] for prayer, I felt I heard God nudge me to go and ask for prayer.  I asked, 'for what?' and I heard 'for your job.'   I questioned if that was for my ...[potential job opportunity I had at the time] or the startup business...[that I've been praying about if I should start].  But I didn't feel peace or direction on that.  It was as if I was just to ask about "my job" and not specify any more than that.  So I went up to pastor Oto and told him that I didn't know, but I kept hearing "my job".   So he prayed.  And God moved.  I was in tears and I felt His presence.  

Then I went back by my edge-of-the-row seat and knelt and cried and prayed and praise and worshiped.  As I was standing up with Oto I had felt that God was going to have me come up front for prayer a SECOND time! I dismissed it saying no [thinking, who goes up front a second time for prayer].  Now, kneeling, I felt the leading again.  But I suspected it wasn't God, so I brushed it away and kept praising.  But it kept coming up.  Finally I heard, "you know that I won't give up until you do it, don't you?" - it wounded fairly much like God.  I signed and said, "yeah I know."  I agued what others would think, particularly those up front.  But I was also reminded, 'who cares what other people think about me - I am following God.'

So I went up.  I went to pastor Dave and his wife.  I told him I didn't know but I felt like God is calling me up to be prayed for.   So they prayed.  God moved again.  I cried, but not ask much, I didn't "feel" Him "as" deep.  But Dave prayed (I believe it was during the prayer) that I would continue with the kids and speak God to them as they need Him (something along those lines).  I felt then that was God's confirmation that I was to say with the ECE program.  Dave also prayed that I'd have patience in it, which I felt was like patience of staying in Illinois rather than Canada.  

Throughout the whole conference I felt the constant theme from God, "I am with you." "I will never leave nor forsake you." 

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Saturday night I spent the night with a friend and then I went to church, at Koinonia, in the morning for both services.   After church I went and stopped by a friends house before leaving to head back to the States.   While I was there, God used them (my friend and their roommate, whom I do not know) to bless me with finances for my trip.  It wasn't any money for the overspending I did, but it was just enough to cover the fuel costs for the trip!! Praise God!!!!  He is faithful and has provided, yet again, just as He said He would provide!!!! Praise and Glory be to God!!!

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Journal Entry
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Drive home from Canada
Experience with God

On my drive home from Canada, several hours (4-5) away from home, I started having these "chats" with, whom I believe was God.  He told me that I am loved and I am His child and He is with me, and will never leave me.  I also started becoming very tired in these "chats" and I do not recall much of the actual driving during them.  He/this voice, told me that I am going to be sent out into the world to proclaim the gospel.  That God has chosen and called me.  I asked who am I to do this and I was told that God has chosen and equipped me.  He told me not to fear what people say, think, or do because God is with me.  I thought of Jeremiah & Ezekiel & Isaiah (all as though one) and what they went through.  I was told that I was going to go out into the world to proclaim the good news (I think that is what I'll be proclaiming at least).  I was also told to finish up with the program I am in (at school) and then I will be led to where/what God has for me next.  I was told to work full time for the CDL [the daycare I currently work for: The Child Development Lab] and to finish up/ work at where i am at.  I asked about the management position [a potential job opportunity I have] and i believe I heard to go ahead and take that position, but, for now, to leave my Thursday evenings free [until the end of the semester I am only free to work, pretty much Thursday evenings and Saturdays] .  I asked for help andI was asked what I wanted.  I asked for motivation (and dedication) to complete/do my studies in the Bible, school, and work.  I heard a voice tell me, 'I will give it to you' (or something like that).  I lost peace and felt like that was me trying to intervene.  I also asked for my distraction to be taken from me.  I asked also that tiredness not be a problem when reading/studying the Word or in school.  

 I asked how I could do work, school, and studying the Bible with time I have.  I was asked it back, asking me how I could have enough time.  I said, 'by less phone.' The reply was, "and...?".  I said, I think, something like, 'and less comforts' (like when I don't really feel like/want to do anything).  The reply was, "and...?"  I said, 'and... less sleep.'   The reply 'Bingoed' that one, and said that was it.  I defended saying that I was helping me stay healthy... I was asked, 'what if I am less healthy because of my much sleep?'  When I asked if that were so, I heard that it was.  

Again, I was very tired and thru all this and was started to drift off to sleep while driving.  I jerked awake on a curve on the interstate where, had I kept going straight, I would have gone down a deep grassy 'cliff'.  I thought about what would have happened had I gone down and I head that I would have had a lovely vision.  I wanted the vision but I didn't want to deal with the wrecked care and such.   

After all this, I felt the image of a dream I had on the way up [to Canada when I had pulled off to the side of the road for a quick catnap] where in the dream I was lifted up and was being gently laid down as if in a, clearly a, vision.  I now felt that and I knew in me that I needed to take a nap to finish this "vision" with God.  I was told I could pull off at a rest stop to do so.   Sure enough, within a few minutes, here comes a rest stop.l  So I stopped and, as I felt led, parked in front of a tree and laid back and slept.

All this above was written right after waking up to my 25-minute alarm for sleeping and was written with my right hand, and with my right eye closed, as i was still tired.  

I now do not recall what was in my dreams, except that it was [indeed] a continuation of my visions/talk with God.

 A voice - I do not know if it was God or not - is telling me that I do not need to know these dreams right now.

Just asking now, I am hearing that I will not make it to class (Ceramics) tomorrow [Monday morning], and possibly not Painting either [Monday afternoon]. 

I may call Cindy and see if I can spend the night there [Cindy Stuckey is my aunt who lives in Indiana (about the half way point between Gridley, IL and Kitchener, Ontario)] - I do not know if what is in me now is lack of peace with this thought of going to Cindy's or if it is just me. [I did not end up going].

I think the whole first part was God, I had also asked for discernment in knowing this voice and wisdom for time, money, and decisions. 

I am hearing a voice tell me faintly that I will sleep in my own bed tonight [which I ended up doing].  

I want more of God's word.

When I woke up [from my nap], I heard 'write' (or something like that) and so I started writing.

But I did ask, again, for confirmation of the things I heard, to know that they are from God.