A Wingfeather Tale: Twists & Turns, Tears & Tempest

Last night when I got into my car after work and after the art show in the library at school, I was deciding what to listen to on the way home.  I really wanted to listen to the Wingfeather Saga, the third book that I’ve been going through, but I struggled with that idea because I didn’t want to get too caught up in the book.  I know that I can so easily do that, get too caught up in the world of Aerwiar, and it concerns me because I fear it will draw me too far away from reality around me.  When I get so caught up in it I am thinking about it all the time, night and day, and playing scenes, statements, questions, and observations over and over and over in my head – something that I would love to be doing with the Bible.  

 

So, since I really wanted to listen to the Wingfeather Saga, I figured I better listen to the Bible on audio – which I have found that the more I get off of listening to the Bible the less I spend in the Word (though I don’t have enough “data/experience” to claim that as a “fair” statement, if you know what I mean).   But I felt like God was giving me the okay to listen to the Wingfeather book, reminding me that He has told me that He will use books, even ones like these, to help grow and guide me.  So I turned on the Wingfeather Saga, book three, and asked God to reveal things to me.   

 

As I neared home, I started driving slower and slower.  I was in the middle of a chapter and I didn’t want to stop in the middle.  As I neared the point where I would turn left to head home, I felt God tell me I can either turn left or keep going straight. 

(I was driving from the lower red dot to the one above it
on the left side.  As I neared that dot, I could either go left
to the next red dot (right next to home) or straight towards the
blue dot.) 

 

I knew several things: 1) I really wanted to finish the chapter, 2) I had to go pee, and 3) I have been working pretty hard to really limit any unnecessary expenses (like driving around to listen to more book or sitting in my car while it’s idling, etc…) since I am fairly tight on finances and I am trying to turn around how I use my money.   So I decided to turn left.   After turning, I drove fairly slowly down the final mile of the road before getting home (this is good fuel-wise since I have a hybrid and I was driving on battery going that slow).  

 

However, when I reached the end of the mile, there was a road that crosses at the stop sign.  I was planning to cross the road, and then there is the house, but I really felt like God was leading me to turn right.

(I was coming from the left, toward the blue dot, and I expect 

to cross the road to the house on the corner (where I live), but I

had felt God leading me to turn right toward the red dot toward

the bottom of this picture.)

 

Knowing that He was behind it I was glad to go, because I really wanted to keep listening to the book.  I knew that if I turned right, about three miles down the road I could make a left, and then two miles later another left and then loop myself all the way back to the other end of our road.  I have done this many times before.   

 

When I got to the end of the three miles, I felt led to make the left hand turn.  And when I got to the end of the next two miles, I also got the go-ahead to turn left again.   As I turned onto this road, facing north again, I slowed as I came to a hill where an old, abandoned, falling apart wooden house sat.  I inched by it, fascinated by it’s beauty.

(This is the route I ended up taking)

As I rounded over the hill, the road made a sharp 90-degree turn left for a half-mile and where it made another 90-degree turn right to straighten itself back out again.  But as I neared the corner, I really felt God telling me to go straight.   Now, technically there is a road that leads straight, though it is an old, dirt road that is not much more than 650 feet long before it flatly dead-end’s into a field.  Having the great enjoyment for driving on old dirt roads, I have been on this one several times, though not a ton – it can be rather bumpy with dried, rutted, tractor tracks.   But now, I had the concern that it might be too muddy, as it was a bit wet out, and rain was a’com’n.

 

(As I came up over the hill (just below the bottom of this 

picture), I expected to follow the paved road that curved left, 

but I felt God directing me to go straight, on to the dirt road.)

 

But I felt like it was God leading me so I went, knowing He would be with me in it and believing He would keep me from getting stuck.   As I drove on the short stub-of-a-road, I found it not wet nearly at all, though it was fairly bumpy, especially near the end, which did not please my wanting-to-be-emptied bladder.  But God helped keep my bladder satisfied where it was.   I parked at the end of the road and listened for an hour or so.   There were a couple some-what emotional times and a few times where I either stopped and shouted/stated, or just declared while it was playing  my agreement and excitement at some great spiritual act, statement, belief, concept, or something of the sort.   The rain came and went off in the distance – I only noticed, I believe, one rain drop land on my car – though I could see the pouring rain ahead of me in a field.   

 

After and hour or so I became a bit concerned as another wave of rain came, and this time it hit the road I was on.  I was worried that the road would become wet and muddy and I could get stuck, though I tried to remind myself that God brought me here, so He can take car of that.   After asking for a bit, I felt the okay to back up and turn around.  After I turned around, I drove to the end of the dirt road, which was more gravel, right at the curve of the paved curve of the road and parked there.   I sat there for the next hour to and hour and a half, and finished up the book.  And boy oh boy, did God do His work in me there.  

(Here are the two places that I parked during this stay.  The top

yellow pin is where I had first parked, and the bottom is the 

second place I had parked once the rain started. In total, 

I was at these two places for a combined probably over two

and a half hours.)

Rain poured the whole time, and it was cool to watch as it splattered and moved on my windshield and as the wind outside blew it around.    While sitting there on that gravel/dirt road in the rain storm that roared outside my car, my car continued to play the Wingfeather Saga, book three (while idling the whole time) and my heart was touched and moved by the Almighty God.  There were some moments in the story that really touched my heart and struck me in this way and that, and some of those moments brought me to tears.   And as the tears fell, I felt silly, but I kept hearing what I believe was God telling me to let it come; to let it all out.   And I did.   Moment after moment, more and more tears came.   The tears turned into a vocal cry, which soon turned into a whine, which felt all the more silly and not something a person in their twenties does, I felt very childish, but I kept hearing the still, small, calm voice telling me to let it out.  I didn’t know how much more would come out, and I wasn’t fully sure the source of this crying, but God was doing something.   The whine then turned into wailing – something I don’t know if I have ever done, especially not as a grown man, and though it felt all the more silly, it kept coming.   And I had peace.   I wailed and wailed and wailed even more, and when I thought I would have no voice left and my throat was more parched than I can every recall and my pants (just below my head) were drenched, I wailed some more.  

 

As my wailing turned back into a whine and a cry and then slowly started to fade away, and the story was nearing the end of the book, I felt God gently telling me not to put a stop to the flood of emotions, as there may be a bit left that will to come out.    And though it wasn’t what I had expected, a tad bit more did come out before the end of the book.  As the book came to a close and the rain raged on outside, I sat in awe, amazed at God’s amazing love and Hand on me, and I still had to pee – which was now starting to grow with a much more urgent feeling, but God had held it for the past three whole hours of listening to this book, and I was grateful.     I drove home without listening to any more audio, but listening to whatever God might be saying and thanking Him and praising Him, and thinking/talking about what had just happened.  I still don’t know the fully source of the crying, what it was in me that needed to come out, but God had prepared this time last night (when I had a free evening almost) to bless me indeed.  

 

Thank you Dad!!!!

A Choice to be Made: The Durgan Guild or The Book Bindery

****Spoiler Alerts may follow in the text below.  If anyone is super sensitive in not learning any details about the Wingfeather Saga (a four-book series by Andrew Peterson) before getting there, read the following with caution****

I have spent most of the night tonight (for the past two to three hours) sorting LEGOS and listening to the Wingfeather Saga book number three: The Monster in the Hollows.  Lately, as I have been reading these books, I have been pausing at every little thing that stands out to me, recording it and making a note on it.  Through this process (within much prayer), I have learned a lot about myself and things that are buried within me.  However, as I listen to the audiobooks I do not stop at every little thing.  Some things, every once in a while, stand out so much that I will pause, ponder and then play again.   And tonight I had one of those moments.  Except... this part of the book stood out so much, I felt in me that I needed to record it - tonight, no matter how late it is (it is currently around 11:15 PM - and I work tomorrow morning). 

First let me tell you what was said, then I will tell what stood out to me.   To give a bit of context, Gnag the Nameless is a nameless evil that has destroyed most of the world as they know it, and desperately wants Janner and Kalmar - to use for his own evil means.  Artham is Janner and Kalmar's uncle, who is a role model for Janner, as he played the same royal position that Janner is in.  Janner is 12 and Kalmar is 11.  They each have to choose a class in their new school in the Green Hollows where they will study to perfect one topic (such as the book bindery, cookery, woodworking,  hourndery, etc...).  Janner has always loved books, reading and writing, and he couldn't be more thrilled about being able to be in a class with others on that subject (something that he has never had anything like before) in the Book Bindery.  His younger brother, Kalmar, wants to be in a sneakery class called the Durgan Guild where he will lean to fight, sneak, and spy.  Janner's job is to protect his younger brother, as his brother does have some special circumstances around him in addition to most of the city wanting to hurt him (at least it seems so).  Given all their current circumstances, and the fact that all the children in that class are at least 13 years old, everyone knows that an 11 year-old boy is going to get pounded, literally, in that class.  Lots of pain, emotional and physical, will be inflicted to anyone who enters that class, especially Kalmar.  His mom, Nia, will only allow him to be in that class if Janner will do it with him.  Janner is none too happy about this.  Lets take a look:

"Janner stared into the distance and clenched his jaw.  He tried not to, but he couldn't help, picturing uncle Artham looking down at him with disappointment. Janner hatted to admit it, but he knew the right thing was to protect his brother, not just from the students at the guilding hall, but from fangs and bomnubbles and even Gnag the Nameless.  And learning to be a warrior spy was sure to be a bigger help than learning to be a cook or bind books." (Wingfeather Saga Book 3: The Monster in the Hollows)

What really struck me here was that Janner, despite his deepest desire to be with books and other book-loving children, saw that what he wanted wasn't necessarily where he was needed at that time.   That struck out to me because as soon as I paused the audio, whether by my mind or via God's revelation, this situation materialized to me as what I am going through right now.  Just as Janner had no interest in getting 'pounded', I have had little/low interest in taking child development classes in college - and I struggle to see myself working with kids in the long run, at least in a classroom setting - the idea bores me and makes me want to squirm in my seat.   Though I enjoy what I do at work in the preschool classroom, I don't fancy the idea of doing it forever.   To help with this feeling, in December 2018, I enrolled in two art classes for this spring semester (that I am currently in).  I enjoy art and I have been wanted to develop more of my artistic skills for a long while - plus I really, really enjoy working with clay, which I love doing in my ceramics class.   I've even considered taking Ceramics II next semester.   Except, I realize, that my taking them is for my own wants and pleasures, which isn't bad, except it it drawing me quite out of the way for the field that I feel God has clearly led me to.  I feel that God has lead me, and is still leading me to study Early Childhood Education, and to do it will all my heart, with all of me, not the half-heartedness that I have had towards it.   I may not fancy doing this for the rest of my life, but God has called me here, and I need to put away my selfish, earthly desires and follow His lead. 

This is a reoccurring theme, especially lately, that I feel God has been showing me.  To trust Him, and to give whatever He has placed in my path my all, regardless of how I feel about it now.  And looking at The Monster in the Hollows, further on in the book, Janner learns to like the Durgan Guild and, in fact, he finds that it comes to be a very useful help later - a time that "the Maker" (God) was preparing him for.   

Lets Hope The New Shoe Fits

Some of you know that I have rather large and wide feet and finding suitable shoes for them can be a bit more tricky than many people have in shoe shopping - especially when they don't want to spend a lot of money.   This is good information to know, except for the fact that this post has nothing to do with shoes, except to tie the title into the content.   Like getting new shoes, this post is about something new in my life. Work.

Financially I am not in the greatest position as money is tight when needing to pay expenses and debts - not to mention my love for shopping on there.   Currently, while in school, I and living in part on a college fund.  However, as summer is approaching and I do not plan to be taking classes over summer, I will not have that additional college funding support to help out.  So I have been praying and seeking God for what I should do for income or for provision over the summer, and leading into next semester.   I haven't heard a ton on the matter.  That is except the repeated, "trust me" I keep hearing whenever I pray about it.   Within the last month or so, I also felt like God was leading me to be working on my book that I am writing over the summer (as my source of income???).   And while I still hope to be working more and more on my book, other doors have been opened. 

Several weeks ago, I was looking for something in the local Thrift Shop in Gridley, IL (Spare & Share Shoppe (a MCC, Mennonite Central Committee, thrift shop)).  While in the shop, the manager, whom I didn't know other than seeing her every once and a while running to and fro, approached me, asking me if I was the guy who was here the other night - which I was.  My head was racing thinking that she may be thinking of someone else, and what she might want to say.   She had me come over to a quieter area and asked me if I was looking for a job.   Whoa!!   I started to say no, but then caught myself, being reminded that I've been praying for a provision opportunity.   So I turned my answer into a "possibly".  She then took me back into her office and told me that they are looking for an assistant manager and she has been thinking about me lately wondering if I would be interested.   Again, Whoa, God!    I sat and listened to her share about the shop and it's mission and stories of what she goes through as a manager at the shop.   Then she gave me some pamphlets and papers sharing more information about the shop, MCC, and the mission and heart of Christ behind and woven into it all.   She also gave me the 1+ inch binder of the shop's handbook.   I took it home and read almost the whole thing that night - which is really fast for me (it was probably the fasted I have read a non-novel style book, other than the Bible, recently).  It was fascinating small business tips, tricks, policies, and ways of business life.  Regardless of if I get this job or not, it was worth it just to read that handbook. 

Not to long later, on March 26, I had an interview with the manager and about half or so of the board.  Though I have a lot to learn - and they recognize that - they still wanted me to be on the team.   So, hopefully and Lord willing, I will start this coming Saturday.  During this semester I will only work on Saturdays, as I have class and my job at the Preschool during the week.   Over the summer I am hoping to get more hours and time to work at both of my jobs.    The amazing thing is about the Thrift Shop is it is a very Christ-centered organization and the manager seems to handle and view the work, not as a cooperation, but as a strong and clear mission field - that she (and the other employees) are missionaries.   Which I love for the atmosphere. 

Thank you God for this amazing opportunity and for providing yet again, just as you said you world!!!  I am blown away in awe of your mighty hand at work!!

Though I haven't officially started the job yet, I am excited to see if this new "shoe" fits!

Northern Travel Worship God Experience

The Powerful trip to, during, and from Canada

Last, last Thursday (March 21, 2019) I left where I am living in Gridley, IL to drive up to Kitchener, Ontario, Canada for a Worship Conference this past weekend.  I had a fairly quick drive, without any trouble at the border - praise God!  I was struck by how quick the trip went.  It was about a 9-10 hour drive, but it flew by in the snap of a finger it seemed.   Going into this trip, I did not have the finances for this trip, but I was trusting God to provide.

---

*I've been struggling financially lately and even more than that I have been struggling with, as much as I don't like to say it, an addiction to shopping.   This is something that has been a struggle for years and I am still learning to walk it out wisely.   While I was in Canada there were some things that I wanted to get, but I felt like I wasn't suppose to get them - that I was to trust God.  However, in my temptation, I slipped up and got them anyways.   Looking back, I recall talking with God prior to this shopping trip and I felt like He told me woe to me because I will not obey to His warning.  At the time I had dismissed that, believing that I would heed to His word if He told me not to purchase anything.   Yet I did purchase them, and I do believe that God had warned me not to.   Now it is something that I am having to deal with - going into it I knew that it would be painful, and now, being this much more in debt, is indeed painful.   But, my prayer and hope in this pain and experience is that God will help me overcome this addiction (which I have been able to do for short periods of time in the past, several months at a time).  But I pray, and am working towards, a lifestyle change, for this is not something that I want to keep living with. 

---

Once I arrived in Canada, I went to the Baxter's house (relatives) and stayed with them Thursday night.   Friday, after a morning shopping trip, I helped Laura unload some drywall into the room they are renovating and then I headed into town to meet a friend.   My friend and I hung out for an hour or two and it was really good to see him in person and spend this time with him.   Then, around 6:10 PM, I headed to the church (Koinonia Christian Fellowship (KCF)) for the first evening of the conference: Engage Worship Conference.  This was the first year that KCF has done a worship conference.   On the way, I pulled off to a quiet area and took some quiet time with God.   At the end of that time, I felt that He asked me what His word says.  So I stated stating verses that came to mind that I have remembered.  The one that He stopped me on was when He said that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  I felt like He wanted me to remember, if not focus, on that as I went into the conference.   This was a great preparation for the night that followed.   Leading up to this night, I have felt it on my heart that God was going to do something big at this conference, and so I wanted to prepare for it.  One of the best ways I knew how was to fast and pray.   I took a nine day fast ending on the final session at the Friday night worship session at the conference.  (Why nine days?  I wanted to do two weeks, but I was concerned by my health - I was sick at the start of the two weeks).  But it was well worth it.  God prepared my heart and, WOW! It was an amazing conference with Awesome times of worship, and praise, to and of God!   The guest speaker at the conference was Sion Alford, the campus worship pastor at Gateway Church in Dallas, Texas - the church that I've gone to conferences to in the past - including in SLI.  He was amazing and God really spoke through him.  

Going into the first session Friday night was an extended time of worship, of which was powerful and humbling - which was encouraging.  During that time of worship one of the songs was literally filled with lyrics emphasizing how God will never leave me nor forsake me!    Wow!  That was such an encouragement - especially since that is what He had prepared me with just before coming to church that evening!  And all throughout the weekend, this was a very common and repeated thing that I felt God bringing up more and more to me!  During the worship that night God clearly moved.  I felt free to cry, to find Great Abundant Joy in His presence and goodness, and I felt Him near - all more than usual.   

Friday night after the conference there was tons of really good food - which probably seemed even better since I was coming off of a fast.  But it was filled with some great times of fellowship too!   Then I headed to the Friday night group that I was a part of when I was in SLI.  There were not many people left when I got there - it was fairly late, around 11:00 PM - ish.   But it was still good to be with the family and friends that were there.  Then, I spent the night there.   

Saturday morning the conference started at 9:00 AM.  Main sessions were on praise, worship, humility, God's will in the fulfillment of His promise(s) to me, and so much more.  In the talks on God's will for me in the fulfillment of His promise(s), I really felt God confirm and affirm me where I am at in life - that He has placed me in studying early childhood education for a reason.   (This is something that I have been struggling with lately - I enjoy working with kids and I am good at it, but I struggle to find joy and peace in the thought of doing it for the rest of my life - or even for a longer term in life.  But I really felt God affirm me as His child and that His will may not always be what I think it should (or does) look like.  Something that someone said this weekend at the conference was to 'Grow where you're planting' and to 'Grow where you're planted.'  And I know that God has planted me here in Illinois at Heartland Community College right now in the Early Childhood Education (ECE) program and I have not been in the greatest mood or perspective about that - I certainly haven't been trying to grow all that much in it - I have been more trying to 'just get by' and pass the classes.  But God says that I am to do all things as if I am doing them for Him, to grow where He has placed me.  

--

Here is a journal entry that I wrote at the end of final session on Saturday evening:

Throughout the weekend I've felt the reoccurring theme that God has placed me with children, studying ECE, and that is where He wants me (to give it my all).  So I said I would follow if that was Him, but I also asked for additional confirmation from Him.  I don't remember if he said He would or not.

 Now, during the final session, as it was ending, we were going into a ministry time (with praise and worship).  Nearly right after they said we can come up [front] for prayer, I felt I heard God nudge me to go and ask for prayer.  I asked, 'for what?' and I heard 'for your job.'   I questioned if that was for my ...[potential job opportunity I had at the time] or the startup business...[that I've been praying about if I should start].  But I didn't feel peace or direction on that.  It was as if I was just to ask about "my job" and not specify any more than that.  So I went up to pastor Oto and told him that I didn't know, but I kept hearing "my job".   So he prayed.  And God moved.  I was in tears and I felt His presence.  

Then I went back by my edge-of-the-row seat and knelt and cried and prayed and praise and worshiped.  As I was standing up with Oto I had felt that God was going to have me come up front for prayer a SECOND time! I dismissed it saying no [thinking, who goes up front a second time for prayer].  Now, kneeling, I felt the leading again.  But I suspected it wasn't God, so I brushed it away and kept praising.  But it kept coming up.  Finally I heard, "you know that I won't give up until you do it, don't you?" - it wounded fairly much like God.  I signed and said, "yeah I know."  I agued what others would think, particularly those up front.  But I was also reminded, 'who cares what other people think about me - I am following God.'

So I went up.  I went to pastor Dave and his wife.  I told him I didn't know but I felt like God is calling me up to be prayed for.   So they prayed.  God moved again.  I cried, but not ask much, I didn't "feel" Him "as" deep.  But Dave prayed (I believe it was during the prayer) that I would continue with the kids and speak God to them as they need Him (something along those lines).  I felt then that was God's confirmation that I was to say with the ECE program.  Dave also prayed that I'd have patience in it, which I felt was like patience of staying in Illinois rather than Canada.  

Throughout the whole conference I felt the constant theme from God, "I am with you." "I will never leave nor forsake you." 

--

Saturday night I spent the night with a friend and then I went to church, at Koinonia, in the morning for both services.   After church I went and stopped by a friends house before leaving to head back to the States.   While I was there, God used them (my friend and their roommate, whom I do not know) to bless me with finances for my trip.  It wasn't any money for the overspending I did, but it was just enough to cover the fuel costs for the trip!! Praise God!!!!  He is faithful and has provided, yet again, just as He said He would provide!!!! Praise and Glory be to God!!!

--

Journal Entry
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Drive home from Canada
Experience with God

On my drive home from Canada, several hours (4-5) away from home, I started having these "chats" with, whom I believe was God.  He told me that I am loved and I am His child and He is with me, and will never leave me.  I also started becoming very tired in these "chats" and I do not recall much of the actual driving during them.  He/this voice, told me that I am going to be sent out into the world to proclaim the gospel.  That God has chosen and called me.  I asked who am I to do this and I was told that God has chosen and equipped me.  He told me not to fear what people say, think, or do because God is with me.  I thought of Jeremiah & Ezekiel & Isaiah (all as though one) and what they went through.  I was told that I was going to go out into the world to proclaim the good news (I think that is what I'll be proclaiming at least).  I was also told to finish up with the program I am in (at school) and then I will be led to where/what God has for me next.  I was told to work full time for the CDL [the daycare I currently work for: The Child Development Lab] and to finish up/ work at where i am at.  I asked about the management position [a potential job opportunity I have] and i believe I heard to go ahead and take that position, but, for now, to leave my Thursday evenings free [until the end of the semester I am only free to work, pretty much Thursday evenings and Saturdays] .  I asked for help andI was asked what I wanted.  I asked for motivation (and dedication) to complete/do my studies in the Bible, school, and work.  I heard a voice tell me, 'I will give it to you' (or something like that).  I lost peace and felt like that was me trying to intervene.  I also asked for my distraction to be taken from me.  I asked also that tiredness not be a problem when reading/studying the Word or in school.  

 I asked how I could do work, school, and studying the Bible with time I have.  I was asked it back, asking me how I could have enough time.  I said, 'by less phone.' The reply was, "and...?".  I said, I think, something like, 'and less comforts' (like when I don't really feel like/want to do anything).  The reply was, "and...?"  I said, 'and... less sleep.'   The reply 'Bingoed' that one, and said that was it.  I defended saying that I was helping me stay healthy... I was asked, 'what if I am less healthy because of my much sleep?'  When I asked if that were so, I heard that it was.  

Again, I was very tired and thru all this and was started to drift off to sleep while driving.  I jerked awake on a curve on the interstate where, had I kept going straight, I would have gone down a deep grassy 'cliff'.  I thought about what would have happened had I gone down and I head that I would have had a lovely vision.  I wanted the vision but I didn't want to deal with the wrecked care and such.   

After all this, I felt the image of a dream I had on the way up [to Canada when I had pulled off to the side of the road for a quick catnap] where in the dream I was lifted up and was being gently laid down as if in a, clearly a, vision.  I now felt that and I knew in me that I needed to take a nap to finish this "vision" with God.  I was told I could pull off at a rest stop to do so.   Sure enough, within a few minutes, here comes a rest stop.l  So I stopped and, as I felt led, parked in front of a tree and laid back and slept.

All this above was written right after waking up to my 25-minute alarm for sleeping and was written with my right hand, and with my right eye closed, as i was still tired.  

I now do not recall what was in my dreams, except that it was [indeed] a continuation of my visions/talk with God.

 A voice - I do not know if it was God or not - is telling me that I do not need to know these dreams right now.

Just asking now, I am hearing that I will not make it to class (Ceramics) tomorrow [Monday morning], and possibly not Painting either [Monday afternoon]. 

I may call Cindy and see if I can spend the night there [Cindy Stuckey is my aunt who lives in Indiana (about the half way point between Gridley, IL and Kitchener, Ontario)] - I do not know if what is in me now is lack of peace with this thought of going to Cindy's or if it is just me. [I did not end up going].

I think the whole first part was God, I had also asked for discernment in knowing this voice and wisdom for time, money, and decisions. 

I am hearing a voice tell me faintly that I will sleep in my own bed tonight [which I ended up doing].  

I want more of God's word.

When I woke up [from my nap], I heard 'write' (or something like that) and so I started writing.

But I did ask, again, for confirmation of the things I heard, to know that they are from God.