Give When the Budget Is Tight

I've found that arguing with God is useless.  If anything it makes things harder.  Not worse, but harder.  I felt deeply today (a longer story put into a few words) that God wanted me to give someone $100.  Well I was eager to do that, but the question arose in me, "Who?  Who do I give this check of $100 to."   I wanted to give it to someone I knew, but I didn't know if God wanted me to give the money to that person.   God told me, "don't fear about messing up or failing, I will always be with you even when you mess up.  Don't fear."   Well I did fear and I made it clear to God why.  If I gave the $100 to the 'wrong' person, then I'd have to give another $100 to the 'right' person.   I love giving, it's just that my budget hasn't been set up to give out the entire $100, let alone an extra $100.   I only have a little over $500 in my account and that is suppose to last me quite a while yet.   But still I felt God telling me not to worry.   I made it clear to Him, from my perspective, that this didn't fit in my budget.  Afterwards I felt that He said that a budget is good and all, but I shouldn't put my trust in it.  I need to put my trust in Him.  So He challenged me, saying basically that if I was worried about my budget being $200 short, I need to trust Him more, even if I have to give more.  

I kept asking Him, "who? Who do you want me to give the $100 to?"  And He replied, "Who do you want to give it to?"  I told Him the person, possibly persons that I've felt on my heart for quite some time to give money to.   So He gave me the okay to write it out to this person.  As I finished writing the check (again, another story is in that) and as I was putting my checkbook away, I heard God's little whisper, "Oh, give a check for $100 to [this other person] too."   I spent a lot more time in prayer about it, reminding God of my budget, but He kept to his request.   So I wrote out a second check for $100 to a 2nd person.   As I was putting my checkbook away, again I heard God's little whisper, "Oh, give another check for $100 to [this other person] too."   This seemed a little to far for me.  Yes I was thrilled that God would use me to do this, but this was not what I was expecting.   I kept trying to convince God that this wasn't anywhere in my budget.  I spent time in prayer and talking with God.  I needed to be convinced about this.   This put a huge pressure on my budget, especially since I barely had enough to make it to the end of June before.  But I did write the check. (Before all this, He had challenged me to give more in another area too).  

As I was going to deliver the checks to the three people, I felt God saying that He want's me to give it all to Him, including my finances.  Many of you saw a previous post on my blog and Facebook about a Gofundme campaign.  I thought this was a great idea to raise money to bless others with.  Today God revealed to me that my thought on it was that I needed God to bless me with abundance so I could give abundantly.  However, God told me today that He wants me to give out of what I see as a shortage.  Now it doesn't seem humanly possible that I'll have enough for the next few months, yet He has assured me that He will provide.   So I am trusting in that, God will provide.  He is faithful and true.  All I am is His.   Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your glory!  

(Again, this is the shorter version of all this, there are many stories behind it all)